Uhm... Lucid Dreaming?? Help?

Try meditation before and after going to sleep getting yourself focused before sleep has always helped me to be more aware when going into "unconscious" dream states. You probably get sleep paralysis because of anxiety produced in this somewhat lucid state. Its very foreign to me to have to commit suicide in my dreams but gaining control over things you fear in real life might have something to do with gaining control in your spiritual sub-conscious.